Teaching Guide: Raising Your Parents

Throughout the many group discussions videotaped for this television series, no subject came up more often than parents. Teenagers connected their parents (for better or for worse) with everything that happens in their lives. As young people come of age and assume more responsibility and in-dependence, their relationships with their parents are largely what determine how easily or painfully that metamorphosis will occur.

In this program, host Michael Pritchard and high school students in Washington, D.C.; San Rafael, California; Columbia, South Carolina; and Atlanta, Georgia take on the age old question of how to make their relationship with their parents work better. By defining what they want in their relationship with their parents, and examining how their own actions affect that relationship, these teenagers uncover some of the keys to getting what they want in the teen/parent alliance.

EDUCATIONAL OBJECTIVES

1. Stimulate young people to think critically about their relationships with their parents.
2. Help them see themselves as having the power to improve their relationships by making the right choices.
3. Encourage them to take the initiative in improving their relationships with their parents by looking at what they can do differently to cause the change.

This material is from the teaching guide
for the video “Raising Your Parents“
in the 12-part DVD series THE POWER OF CHOICE

 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Describe your ideal parent. Describe the ideal parent-child relationship.

2. What does Pritchard mean by the term “raising your parents?”

3. What was the one thing in this program that meant the most to you? Why?

4. Did you disagree with what anybody had to say?

5. When it comes to raising you, what do you think your parents biggest fears are?

6. Do you think your parents are worried that they might not be doing a good enough job?

7. What do you like best about the way your parents deal with you? Have you ever told them that? Why not? What if you did?

8. Do you think your parents should give you total freedom, with no limits at all? If not, what should those
limits be?

9. What do you think your parents look for in you that tells them how much freedom they can give you?

10. Does the amount of freedom your parents give you change? What are the factors that influence those
changes?

11. What worries do your parents have about you? How can you alleviate their fears so that they will not be
overprotective?

12. In an ideal relationship with your parents, what would be their responsibility to you and yours to them?

13. Can a parent really be your friend? Give an example of a time that happened in your life. Did you let your parents know that you needed them to be your friends, or did they make that choice?

14. One boy in the program said that it’s okay for parents and kids to express anger with each other, that it’s
necessary for mutual honesty. How can you do that without starting a yelling match that might interfere with mutual understanding?

15. Is there a way to argue or negotiate with a parent so that there is neither a winner nor a loser?

16. A girl says that it is hard to be a parent. In what ways might it be hard to be your parent? Explain.

17. Is there anything you could do that would make it easier for your parent to be the kind of parent you want?

18. In what ways are you and your parents alike? Do those similarities make it harder or easier for you to get along?

19. How do you regain a parent’s trust after you have lost it?

20. How might you help your parents find the right balance between being under-involved and over-involved with your life?

21. Do you think that, if you have children, you will be a different kind of parent than your parents are? Do you expect to do a better job than they did? In what ways?

GROUP ACTIVITIES

1. As a class project, write an instruction manual about how to be a good parent. Make a list of topics and then brainstorm ideas that should be included in each topic. Assign these topics to different people to write about. Compile all this material, print it up, and distribute it to parents.

2. Divide into small groups for some peer helping. Each person describes the major problem or limitation he or she faces in relating to their parents. The others then suggest options their peer might have in improving this situation. The point of this discussion is not to come to a conclusion, merely to present a number of options before going on to the next person.

This material is from the teaching guide
for the video “Raising Your Parents“
in the 12-part DVD series THE POWER OF CHOICE

 

WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

1. Describe the major barriers that stand between you and your parents. Differentiate the ones you think might be changed from those that probably can’t be. Describe one thing you could do that might weaken or bring down one of those barriers.

2. What do you admire about the way your parents perform their role as parents? What do you disapprove of in the way they perform this role? How could you help your parents be better parents?

3. If you were your parents, what would you do differently?

4. Write a 30 second public service announcement giving advice to the parents of your community.

5. Interview a grandparent, either by phone or in person. If possible, record, transcribe, and edit selected responses for your assignment. Ask questions focusing on your grandparent’s relationship with his or her children. For example: “How did you and Mom get along when she was my age?” “How much freedom did you give Dad when he was my age?” Write about what you’ve learned from this interview, and what ideas it gives you for dealing with your parents.